2013 Toyota Avalon
The Toyota Avalon is the All American Japanese car. This is the product of an automaker decidedly and intentionally designing a car as boring and mundane as any Buick available. Why? Because, for some reason, there’s a market for boring and mundane vehicles in North America. And it can safely be said that reason is roughly between 75 and 100 years old with grey hair and oversized sunglasses that fit over their prescription glasses. I don’t personally know anyone who drives a Buick but I know they’re out there. I’ve seen them. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. For some the idea of a fun sporty and stylized vehicle is just downright offensive and possibly even immature.
Apparently Bob Carter, Toyota’s U.S. general manager has laughably referred to the Avalon as the most beautiful car he’s seen in 20 years with Toyota. He went on to pontificate that the Avalon embodies some heralding of a new era in Toyota design, dedicated to more exciting vehicles. He actually called the Avalon exciting. In Bob Carter’s defense it’s highly possible someone slipped a Percocet in his drink.
A V-6 engine will power the car and, of course, it will only come with an automatic transmission. Toyota hasn’t divulged the details on the size of the V6 or its performance capabilities but we can likely expect the Avalon to have a 3.5-liter V-6. This all new powertrain will be equipped with a three mode driving options feature consisting of the usual Economy, Normal, and Sport. Also there will apparently be a hybrid version for any old people who might actually give a crap about this old planet they’re about to leave behind.
As with all its predecessors the 2013 Avalon as a premium Sedan, which is not quite a luxury sedan. But still the interior of the new Avalon has a luxury appeal. There will be available for option a JBL audio system, and the instrument panel will come with three screens for touchscreen information displays. To protect the precious and fragile lives of the occupants there are standard safety features like 10 airbags. That’s right I said 10. There is stability and traction control, pre-collision mitigation, a blind spot monitoring, along with a new technology called Variable-ratio Brake Pedal. It apparently varies initial and final pedal effort. Holy Nanny Tech Batman. Toyota hasn’t exactly said what this car will go for but it can be predicted this incredible snorefest in one tight package can be yours for around $35,900 give or take a fixed income pension paycheck.
It may be beyond any of our imaginations but the market is out there for the 2013 Toyota Avalon. Look for it on the roads. They will be unmistakable. Usually there will be a cane swinging angrily out the side window. Or it will be spotted making a 45 minute long attempt at parallel parking, bumping back and forth between parked vehicles like a bumper car. Or leisurely ambling down the road several miles below the speed limit with a turn signal blinking into the sunset.
